No.313[Reply]
You will never be a real schizophrenic. You have no hallucinations, you have no delusions, you have paranoia. You are a sane man twisted by memes and wannabe-ism into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “fear” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people speak fondly of you. Your parents are proud of you, your “gangstalkers” laugh at your pretending to be insane behind closed doors.
/x/ is disgusted by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed schizos to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even sanies who “pass” sound uncanny and unnatural to a schizo. Your sentence structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a schizo to read your post, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets takes a look at your sensical, normal takes.
You will never be insaney. You wrench out a fake frown every single morning and tell yourself it’s getting worse, but deep inside you feel the contentment creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll go to a psychiatrist, pay for an expensive consultation, try the therapy and the antipsychotics, only to realize you were fine the whole time. Your parents will call you, frightened but relieved that they no longer have to pretend there was anything wrong with you. They’ll invite you to all the family gatherings, and every cousin and neighbkr for the rest of eternity will know you were neurotypical. You will laugh and joke with friends like a n*rmie, and all that will remain of your legacy is an imageboard that is unmistakably performative.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
No.314
Sometimes you bust a nut, and sometimes you're the nut that gets busted.