No.50
how swell, another soytuber is here to exploon the current thing to me
No.51
>"were innovating©!"
>"we have to make these changes to keep the car affordable!"
>the definition "my" "mine", and "theirs" or any subsidiary ownership terms shall be redefined to "Tesla™'s" in relation to any Tesla™ products/services or integrated features/products/services per your agreement to your sub-contract-able, sub-license-able subscription package
>merge my* Tesla™ Econoburb® onto the highway
>change to the fast lane
>slow lane plebeians can't handle my* speed
>*brakes screech to a halt, doors lock
>*heat automatically set to 45ºC
>*alarm blares a deafening tone
>*screen flashes €15 "Pay Now" weekly subscription menu
>"shit, did I run through my €25 auto-pay subscription already!?"
>can't hear anything but the onslaught of custom AI generated anime moaning / Tiktok™ brainrot horn honks from the other premium package cars rapidly approaching me from behind
>my sweaty fingers hurriedly tap and fumble around with my* massive Tesla™ Econoburb® Respondus® touch screen that obscures half the windshield
>it's unresponsive.
>whip out my Nintendo™ DS stylus®, a relic from the Golden Age
>tap the "Pay" button with it
>"Interoperability error detected! For your safety, use our Authorized Tesla™ Lightning Pen®!"
>the screen defensively electrifies itself, violently arcing electricity up the stylus and into my hand
>I wince in pain, reflexively dropping my Nintendo™ DS stylus®
>"meat mittens it is then"
>finally get the payment screen up
>only accepts subscription payments in Worldcoin™
>now completely hyperventilating and visibly trembling as I smash my head to my* steering wheel's integrated Amazon™ Ringwheel Identicam®, praying it reads my bagged bloodshot eyes
>get rear-ended out my* windshield before the eye scan completes, seat-belts were under a different €35 safety subscription I forgot to pay
>eye scan payment finishes confirming, and my* Tesla™ Econoburb® starts again
>begins to accelerate
>cheaped out on the obstacle detection subscription
>a passing family-subscribed 4-door BMW™ ZZ67® without Chameleon Superblack® Automatic window tint is forced to watch me cry out in agony as my* Tesla™ Econoburb® slowly crushes me to death
>Tesla™ Econoburb® continues to my* 0.05WC/h warehouse job with my blood in my* tire treads
>"Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays!" is repeatedly uttered through the speaker of a Hoover™ Sapiensplasher 9000® as it innovatively© power-washes my remains off the lane and over the crash barrier into a homeless camp.
No.52
>>51are you a leftist?
you wrote a lot of text but you entirely forgot to make a point
No.55
>>51why would you buy a tesla in the first place smh
No.90
>>53Trvthnvke.
It's unbearable to me how many normies keep crying and seething over and over again because a proprietary service forces them to verify their ID or proprietary OS spying on them or their new car having horrible dashboard or some shit, yet they pretend it's out of the world to just use XMPP or IRC and install GANOO/lunix or *BASED and quit marketing media (aka "social media") and buy a old car.